2008 Story #17 – YES
4:32 A.M. May 2008.
My husband, snoring peacefully beside me, suddenly sat up, looked at me, said, Youre doing the right thing, rolled over, and went back to sleep!
This was the culmination of a series of God nudges which convinced me that I was, in fact, being called to resign from my job teaching reading at a local elementary school, to work full time for Marys Hope Workshops.
Why is this such a big deal?
I am a survivor of childhood abusespiritual, sexual, and emotional.
And although Ive always been a very involved church member, frankly, trusting God really didnt factor into the scenario.
In fact, Id say that Gods presence wasnt welcome or acknowledged in my growing up home, and that God was looked upon a crutch for weak people.
Unlike the rest of my family, I did believe that God is loving and benevolent.
Unfortunately, I also believed that I was intrinsically flawed because of the abuse I suffered, and therefore I was outside of Gods sphere of influence.
Gods love wasnt for MY kind.
So how did I get from there to trusting in God enough to quit my secure job and enter into the paycheques-are-scarce world of non-profits?
A couple of years ago I stumbled across Marys Hope Workshops, an ecumenical non-profit organization that offers workshops and resources dealing with spiritual healing for survivors of childhood abuse.
I attended some workshops, started on my healing journey.
I did some volunteer work with the Directors of Marys Hope.
My interactions with them, with Marys Hope supporters, and with the survivors we serve, spurred me to delve deeper into my healing journey.
I have begun psychotherapy to work on the emotional and psychological baggage left in the wake of my childhood abuses.
I continue to work with my spiritual director.
And I write, journal, and draw to give voice to my wounded inner child.
Although my journey is far from being complete, I have reached a point where the wounds to my soul are healing, where I am beginning to really believe that my abuse was an affront to the Holy, and that God really does mean good for me.
I am able to begin to believe that one day my abuse will just be a part of the fabric of my life, and not that which defines me.
And I am able to begin to give my abuse, my abusers, and the way I acted out of my abuse, to God, and not carry the weight around anymore.
All this has brought me to a place where I can trust God enough to say YES to Gods call to serve Gods wounded children: survivors of childhood abuse and trauma, through the ministry of Marys Hope Workshops.
And that is more miraculous than I could ever have imagined.
I invite you to visit the Marys Hope website www.maryshope.org .
You, too, deserve the gifts of hope and healing.