It’s Hard to Be Humble

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

That’s right. That’s all I’m going to say about that. I’m trying to avoid anything political because I think it was just about to make me ill as it has been so in your face along with being kind of locked up in the house. Kind of like how those guards I read about punished prisoners by putting them in a room where they played the “Baby Shark” song over and over again for hours at a time.

And I don’t want to fight with people who seem to want to keep fighting. Heck, even the poll this week avoids the issue. (Hint…it’s about cake…have two birthdays here this week.)

But I have to say that I am becoming somewhat more politically awakened. I no longer feel that it does not matter who wins or who sits in the white house because it’s not going to affect my life. I started watching a documentary on Fascism. Got interrupted but will finish it at some point.

And we lost Alex Trebeck. I must be getting old because it seems that death is visiting the planet on a more frequent basis lately.

This past week, someone who caused a lot of problems for me where I used to work, passed away very suddenly. And I found I had mixed feelings.

We have probably all run into someone like that at least once at work. Someone who whether for retaliation or just because they don’t like your face will seem to have it in for you. This person threatened many people. She would watch people coming and going in the parking lot, stand in the hallway and note the times people came in to work….things like that. And if she could use anything or twist anything around….she would run to the supervisor or stir up trouble with other employees around you.

So I had a very unpleasant time with her for awhile some 20 years ago.

I don’t know why people are like that. This person was intelligent, cared about animals and was very talented craft-wise. So why the need to hurt other people? She was not in a supervisory position….and yet, people listened to her. She knew how to kiss up to those above her.

She retired some ten years ago, so I hadn’t seen her in awhile. Had she died when she was in the middle of tormenting me, of course I would have felt relief. As it is, at this point in time, being separate from her and living my life unbothered, I have different feelings about her demise.

People come and go in our lives. I can and do remember those who have hurt me in my life. It is said that we remember how people make us feel. But alas it seems that those who make us feel good are gone too soon from our lives and those who makes us feel sad and alone and afraid are more numerous and seem to stick around long past their welcome.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about spiritual growth and reincarnation and such and from studies done, it would seem they have come up with a theory of different levels of spiritual progression. So, that is seen as an explanation as to why people commit crimes and are horrible to others sometimes and as to why others are more at peace or more gentle or are more likely to try to help humanity .

And when we pass over, we review our lives and feel the pain we have caused others and we learn so that we can come back next time and try to continue learning.

I want to believe that because it makes me feel like I can let go of whatever leftover anger I had because the person she was in this life is no longer on the human plane but rather in a state of understanding and learning and humility. A state where we are all in this together and no longer separated by egos and limited knowledge and fear and self-preservation.

Interestingly enough, on the tier of growth, law abiding church goers, are not at the top of the list of the most enlightened. It is actually when you step away from the “group”, the “laws” and having someone tell you what to do and how to think that you begin a journey on a more spiritual path.

So think about that for a moment. If you are feeling like an outcast from the church or “forced out” or are feeling a bit lost and betrayed church-wise. it could be for a reason. I believe that many survivors were chosen by the predators they knew because they were seen as good and trusting. Perhaps a higher spiritual vibration was what attracted the predator because that person was seen as being a safer target.

So if you are feeling bad about yourself or unworthy or less than the “holy ones” or the church going people who want to accuse or shame you….or if you are feeling like we are living in a world that is out of control….well, look at the bright side…if this is true about reincarnation and different levels….you are probably way ahead of most people on the spiritual wellness chain and won’t have to come back near as often as the rest of the people who deliberately hurt others or eat Tide Pods and other things for attention.

At least, that’s my hope. Cause I get tired of all of this hatred and anger and pain in this world.

Please take a moment to tell me about your favorite kind of cake. Because, yes. Because. That is as deep as I want to get. Don’t care who anybody voted for. Have a wonderful and safe week everyone.

Read more and take the poll at Adults Abused By Priests.


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  • Alexandra White
    published this page in Blog 2020-11-09 15:10:06 -0600

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