I Wanna Be Elected

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

I like to use song titles in my blogs and this one is a really old one by Alice Cooper. But I guess it fits this week.

So I will venture into politics a bit but not so much as to try to be offensive. We have an election tomorrow.

I recently asked everyone who you thought you were….who would you be if you were not told who you were or who you should be in order to please the people who took care of you or in order to belong and to fit in. Well, now I am asking….who would you be voting for if not for the news?

This is just a hypothetical question really. I’m not asking anyone who they are voting for or why….I am just saying….if you weren’t bombarded daily by news on-line or the debates on TV, or commentaries or constant tweets or all of that….if say you only had the radio like they did 100 years ago….and you heard what was going on in the world with limited media coverage….with radio and newspapers on the kitchen table at breakfast…do you feel you would know enough in order to make a choice?

What would you think about the state of the world if your access to knowledge was limited to a presidential fireside chat, the main news of the world, and local happenings? I don’t know if that was the case 100 years ago, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t news 24/7 at the time.

I can’t listen to it anymore personally. It’s just too much. There is so much negativity along with what else is going on in the world.

I believe that survivors of abuse are generally more sensitive to stimuli and to negativity as it is, so with all of the horrible news at our fingertips instantaneously, how are we to get through each day?

How do we rationalize our emotional reactions and go about our daily lives in this world that appears to be more chaotic and unsteady around us? And how do we keep ourselves from adding to the negativity?

I know from reading the polls that people who read this blog turn to prayer and counselling in tough times and that playing and listening to music is the most popular escape. And I think it is good to escape a bit. I think we need to escape a bit. And I think we also need to make sense of things in our minds.

This past week, I allowed myself to get pulled into my son’s relationship and I emailed two friends about what was going on. I was told I was being co-dependent and needed to take care of myself.

My point is….how can we expect to have any control over the world in which we live if we can’t even do anything much about what is going on in our personal lives?

So, part of helping ourselves is to watch what we say to ourselves.

For myself and in my own family, I hear the words “I had to….whatever”, “she is doing this because”, “You wonder why I drink”, “I have to get involved”.

And my feeling is….if you hear yourself saying that you have to do something….you don’t “have to” do anything. You are choosing to do something. And when you look at someone else as if they are the problem that needs to be fixed and you are living in a world where you are just reacting and not taking action….nothing will change as long as you are saying…”I can’t because they…..”. If someone is pushing you to the point of breaking….get help. And for me, who can relate to all of these things I say….while it’s good to have the courage to speak my mind, I cannot save anyone….except for those who cannot save themselves. Those who have no voice.

But I’ll tell you….whether it’s family, politics, or the awful things that are happening in this world…..we need to stop the words inside that cause inner turmoil. Truth is….we don’t have a lot of control over things. But over and over again, we hear that it begins inside of us. Change begins inside of us.

You know, the more I learn, the less I know. But I don’t think I have ever felt as helpless as I do now. My energy just feels scattered, not knowing where to turn next….who to help next….what is right?

I think it was Shakespeare who said that all the world is a stage and we are playing a part…and according to people who delve into our spiritual natures….that is what our reality is. A play of sorts. As I said, I know less and less. But what I keep coming back to is the care of the self and that we are all connected spiritually.

I also read about promises this week. That was a good one. I think it was like Dark Promises or something like that. It’s when you are in the love bombing stage of a relationship….or it could be even with someone who does not have an agenda but still for you….there are said or implied promises of love and of a future and we begin to envision this happiness and future….only to have it ripped away. That happens, doesn’t it? It can be done by a Narcissist, a predator, a married person who says they want to leave their spouse for you, a parent who makes a promise and breaks it….all of these things that you trust…only to have that trust taken away. Dark promises. I saw someone reply….so how can we trust anyone?

I think the answer is….we really can’t. Can we trust everything we hear or read? Can we expect the politicians to take care of us? Can we expect our loved ones to always agree with us or to know what is right for us? Can we believe that we will never again be betrayed by someone we hoped we could believe? Can we hope we will never be hurt by anyone again?

No, we really can’t. But that doesn’t mean that we are stupid or not good enough or not worthy of good things. We are.

I have an activity for everyone this week. I want everyone to sit in a quiet spot for a half an hour. I want you to put on some music you enjoy listening to. And if you have any scented oil or lotion, I want you to get some of that as well.

Now put on the music and take a bit of the lotion or oil and rub it onto your arms lovingly. Feel your arms and as you rub in the lotion or oil, know that you are worth this. Now close your eyes and shut out the world. Smell the lotion or the oil. Listen to the music that you love. Feel the comfort of the chair or bed or cushion you are on. And know that you are worth this. You are what matters. Nothing that anyone can do or say to you can change your value or self worth. Just breathe.

And no matter what happens to the rest of the world this week, please stay safe and healthy and be at peace, if just for a moment.

Please take a moment to answer the poll. Thank you.

Read more and take the poll at Adults Abused By Priests.