Are We Asking The Right Questions?

It's not your fault if you are the victim of child sexual abuse by an adult. Really. It's not your fault for being a victim or a child. That is absurd!
And because of the severity of child sexual abuse and the natural lack of maturity of a child, isn't it absurd to think children can come forward right away after the physical and emotional trauma of sexual abuse? How could they? 

Update on the Independent Commission on Sexual Abuse in France

The independent commission on sexual abuse set up by the French Catholic Church estimates that at least  3,000 people have  been victimized by abusive priests since the 1950s.   The real number could be closer to 10,000 according to other sources.

Rete l'Abuso and Church Accountability in Italy

Rete l'Abuso ("Abuse Network"), the Italian equivalent of SNAP, together with Ending Clergy Abuse (ECA) organized a Webinar on Feb 20  to report on the struggle to bring the Catholic Church to account in Italy. 

Spirit in the Sky

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

I am going to start off this week with an email that I sent to follow up with the Diocese. I had a face-to-face meeting with Mr. J., who is the go-between/screener for the bishop, and later on had a Zoom meeting with Mr. J., the bishop, and another SNAP member. Having had six months pass since that meeting, and having not heard a word about anything at all, I decided to follow up. Here is the email:

Guest Blog #1

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

The following was sent to me by a survivor who wanted to tell their story. I must warn you that it is upsetting and may trigger some unpleasant emotions.

Ribera Law Firm Becomes Gold Level Sponsor for SNAP’s Mini-Conferences

We are delighted to announce that Ribera Law Firm of San Francisco, California, has become a Gold Level Sponsor for each of SNAP’s 2021 virtual mini-conferences. Each one of these four one-day conferences is free to attendees and will provide new resources for support of and education to our audience of advocates, sexual abuse survivors, and their families.

We Are Family

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

Have you ever had someone betray you? Of course, you have, or you most likely would not be reading this. But there are certain relationships that we go back to, even when we have been hurt or betrayed. People who we have bonded with and who we love. That would be family.

The sexual abuse of children in the French Catholic Church since the 1950s Part 1: Background and Independent Commission

France is sometimes called the "Church's eldest daughter," a reference to its close association with Catholicism that goes back 1,500 years.   Nevertheless, the Church's power and influence dropped after the French Revolution at the end of the 18th century, a time that ushered in an era of strict separation between the Church and State.  

Little Boxes

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

Lent will be upon us soon. Holy days bring with them many memories and feelings. I was abused as an adult as many of us were, so I was able to keep the fairy tale of a holy institution of a church and infallible people living in human form until I was much older.

After the Storm

This blog was written by Adults Sexually Abused by Priests (ASAP)

The following is an excerpt from an email sent to me from a survivor. I am sharing with permission but will not use their name.

It’s ok to feel what you feel at any given moment. Feelings are not wrong or right. They are our truth at the time. 

My emotions still vacillate between the powerful feelings that had me euphoric and feeling he was my “soul mate” alternating with “f**k you!” or “f**ker!” It caused massive confusion. 

Love has no confusion. It’s taken me a long time to realize any niceness displayed was all a part of the abuser’s tactics. In other words he is either nice manifesting wounded parts or an abuser who isn’t nice at all because it was false and a facade used to groom and manipulate!

Now when I think of him I feel an aversion. I focused too much on what he projected that I needed so much of in me. Now I focus on the truth; he was a manipulative con man who exploited everyone even the church for his end. 

Asshole is how I feel today. That’s healing. But I can still have compassion to override my feelings. Again, it’s the nurse in me who could overlook the behaviors of suffering people who could act in ways they might not ordinarily out of fear and pain. 

So you are right where you need to be. Give the compassion first to yourself. That is what I am doing. It is better balanced that way!

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