This profile was written by Patrick Price, Fundraising and Development Manager of SNAP, to honor our courageous and dedicated supporters and donors.

For twenty-five years, Tim Stier served as a Catholic priest in the Diocese of Oakland, but today Tim is, as he states, “a priest in voluntary exile.” How did that happen? In 2004, while serving his last year as pastor at Corpus Christi Parish in Fremont, California, Tim read in a local newspaper the story of Dan McNevin, who revealed that in the 1970s he had been sexually abused by Father James Clark, a predecessor of Tim’s at Corpus Christi. Tim had been alerted by his diocese (Oakland) ahead of time and believed Dan’s allegations.  Later, when asked by a reporter how he and his parishioners were reacting to the story, Tim asked the reporter to let Dan know he would like to meet with him in order to support Dan. Two weeks later, Dan showed up at the rectory to talk. They spoke for more than two and half hours, and upon the conclusion of their lengthy conversation, the full impact of Dan’s heart-wrenching story sank in. Dan had spoken with honesty, sincerity, and a whole lot of pain about the clergy sexual abuse he had experienced. That meeting changed Tim’s life and priorities.

This profile was written by Patrick Price, Fundraising and Development Manager of SNAP, to honor our courageous and dedicated supporters and donors.

While a sophomore, Larry Antonsen was sexually abused by an Augustinian priest at his local high school. For more than 40 years, Larry blocked the memories of guilt, shame and anger that bubbled deep inside him, for as a staunch Catholic, he was horrified by the abuse he suffered at the hands of a clergyman. However, in 2006, those memories started surfacing, so he called the Chicago Archdiocese, but they said they didn’t handle it because it was an Augustinian priest. They did refer him to another Augustinian priest, who neither believed nor wanted to believe Larry’s story as a survivor of clergy sexual abuse.

Self-Forgiveness

BY DAVID PIETRASANTA ENCINO, CA

The speed at which the Vatican has accepted the resignation of Michel Aupetit, the archbishop of Paris, has raised eyebrows, particularly in contrast with the pope's reluctance to deal with others who had mishandled sexual abuse cases.

The official reason for Aupetit's resignation was an "ambiguous" relationship with a woman in the past - without any suggestion of sexual abuse, only the suspicion that the relationship may have been a bit too close.   This aspect is underplayed in an otherwise thoughtful article in The Tablet, which mentions "flimsy" sexual allegations.   The article correctly details other reasons, namely  Aupetit's glaring lack of "human, political and cultural skills" as the main reason for his resignation.

This November we have a great chance to bring the needs, wants, and asks of survivors to the world stage in a big way! SNAP and leading advocacy organizations, such as Darkness to Light, RAINN, Together for Girls, and the Army of Survivors, will recognize November 18th as the international #EndChildSexAbuseDay.

On November 18, SNAP, as part of the steering group for the Keep Kids Safe coalition, will release our Federal Blueprint for action. A key part of this blueprint, and something that members of our SNAP network have demanded for years, is the importance of a federal investigation into institutions that perpetuate abuse and cover-up, like the Catholic Church, the Southern Baptist Convention, and others.

The coalition is proposing that a “Keep Kids Safe National Summit” on the “Prevention, Healing and Justice of Sexual Violence Against Children and Adolescents” be convened by the White House in 2022. We believe it is critical that survivors of sexual abuse are able to attend this summit and share their experiences and stories with thought leaders, researchers, federal, state, and local leaders, and others from allied organizations around the U.S.

This profile was written by Patrick Price, Fundraising and Development Manager of SNAP, to honor our courageous and dedicated supporters and donors.

Upon the release of the clergy sexual abuse exposé in the Boston Globe in 2002, Gail Howard was totally shocked by what she read. Why? Years earlier Gail had been sexually assaulted by her own pastor, and throughout those years, she believed that she was the only person to have ever experienced such a trauma. “I thought I was alone,” Gail says, “but then I knew I was not the only one!” In 2004, she found others who had undergone such abuse when she became part of the Voice of the Faithful, a group seeking to support victims and reform the Church from within Norwalk, Connecticut. Meeting to tell her story was, as she put it, “super scary.” Eventually, with encouragement from Voice of the Faithful, she found the inner strength to share her story in public. Speaking away from Church property, as Voice of the Faithful was not welcomed by the Church, Gail, with her husband by her side, shared the horror of what she had experienced. She used a pseudonym that day to protect her mother, who never knew about her daughter’s sexual abuse.

Below are some sample messages and graphics that you can use on your social media channels to spread the word about #EndChildSexAbuseDay on November 18. 

Below is a sample letter that you can use in outreach to federal elected officials to encourage them to show support for the Federal Blueprint and recognize #EndChildSexualAbuseDay. 

by: ©️ Elizabeth Shane 01.10.21 (CSA Survivor – author of Silhouette of a Songbird)

For all those times
You stripped away my layers
Made me taste forbidden fruit
Forced my hands to do your work
Penetrated beyond boundaries
Hands snaked around my neck ready to silence the sound

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I endured unwanted shadows creeping inside
Felt cold metal of a barrelled gun pushed against my head
Suffered perversion of injustice
Paralysed my breath through restrained fear
Offered my services on a plate

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I quickened my footsteps down a dim lit path
Criss-crossed patterns in the road to shake away the followers
Barricaded my sanctuary through blockades of furniture
Feigned sleep to hasten your desire
Gave you permission without speaking a word

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I didn’t dare scream
Kept quiet
Stayed silent
Never fought back
Ever told

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I felt special
Chosen by you
Thought you loved me
Wanted your attention
Asked for more

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I trusted you
Loved you
Despised you
Feared you
Missed you

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I trembled to speak
Felt ashamed
Pushed the knife deeper in
Faded into darkness
Shattered into broken pieces

For all those times
I never said no

For all those times
I am haunted daily
I speak out
Fear will no longer silence me
My voice shall be heard
Truth will resonate

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I wasn’t asked
I give myself permission
My choice
My body
My right

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
I longed to say stop
Stop.
I am the adult
With ownership
Of my freedom

For all those times
I never said no.

For all those times
You think you won
Of lives destroyed
We will stand strong
United in power
Together as one

For all these times
We will say no.