SNAP: Stories for Living

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Story #25 – My Every Day Hero

This is a joy to write this because of all the pain my wife has endured with me these nineteen years since we first met via a telephone call I made looking for her boss. When I called her boss I had not ever seen her, but I was prompted to tell her I was going to marry her. We talked and prayed every day for ninety days (I was in San Jose and she was in Los Angeles) until we met and married nine months later in Los Angeles.

I asked the Lord for a wife whose gifts would complement mine and the Lord gave the desire of my heart. I know my wife did not know the extent of my sexual abuse, not because I did not tell her, but because I know what I told her was so inadequate a description of my life.

The onion skin to my life begun to be peeled seven years prior to my wife and I marrying by a situation I believe ordained by God to get my attention and start me on the road to recovery.

With daily prayer and meditation throughout our relationship, I accepted the assignment to write the first book and now the second that caused me to open to my wife areas in my life that most women had they known the absolute detail before they married would have filed for immediate divorce.

My wife has served as a surrogate therapist by listening to the details of how I was raped, molested and incested by my father and brother. She listened as I told her how I became promiscuous after what happened to me and how only God intervened and told me not to touch my son by my first marriage as I had been touched. She has held me as I woke up from nightmares and bad dreams, she has seen the sensitivity in how I cry when I hear and see pain experienced by others. The most important thing she has shared with me is how God brought me the forgiveness to forgive my father who I wanted to kill and to forgive my brother and sister for the things they did to me as a child.

I only started to feel and understand love four years ago; however, I know my wife has loved me from the very first day we met because of what I finally learned from the Lord. Her acceptance of me demonstrated to me how to love. The joy I feel and share with my wife as a man healed and delivered from childhood sexual abuse drives me to help others to be healed and delivered from the pain of sexual abuse.

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