Story #15 – Hope for the Future

First of all I want to apologies for my English. It is not my native language, and it is only the 3rd language we learned in my school. I'm living, since the day I was born in Belgium.

After the death of the priest I married, I stayed alone with 5 kids.

Everyone thought I became depressed because he was gone.

Only an American friend (who studied at that time medicine in Belgium), just confronted me with the fact that I was a victim of child abuse by a priest.

She referred me to a colleague psychiatrist she trusted totally (It was not so evident because my previous experiences with therapists were disastrous, because they transgressed boundaries).

For 17 years now he is following me, always believing that healing was possible.

And the healing is indeed progressing.

This healing process is the result of his being always honest, even if it hurt me from time to time badly. But the most important for me was the fact he had the courage to recognize and to reflect on his own failures and mistakes during the process of therapy.

He called himself an anarchistic catholic, and showed me that being a catholic is not so bad and even worth considering for someone who had the worst experiences with the church.

He gave me the opportunity to experience an honest and trustful relation, allowing me to meet him as a very humble human being.... not as a hero.

He gave me the right to criticize every word he said and every act he proposed.

So after decennia of being obliged not to speak and not to feel in real life, I'm learning to feel, and, to express those feelings.

My conclusion: THERE IS STILL HOPE FOR A FUTURE WITHOUT HEROES

AND........ SPEAKING DOES HELP!!!!!!!!