SNAP: Stories for Living

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2007 STORY #:49     I Know Too Much

I Know Too Much 

Pity the child that knows too much

Glowing eyes of innocence project joy to the world

A smile, a giggle, a cry, a faltering step

Makes Mommy’s heart light and full of joy 

The child has no rules, no pain to control

Life follows a path with no sign post

Freely feeling joy and sorrow

Inspired by whatever, falling from wherever 

The child feels joy and sorrow on a moment’s whim

No shadows, no evil, no real pain – just joy

For a child is charged to live life in fantasy

Never measuring or fearing the unknown 

Cries of the child are cries without pain

All can see this child in a common state

Lifting the hearts of the world before it

Perpetual joy never gives way to a hardened thought 

How all look upon the child in bliss,

Feeling hearts lift for one who lives in joy

And feels no pain day after day

Until we one day see horrible fear in the child’s eyes 

Now the child knows too much, with heavy heart

Stolen innocence in a moment of selfish lust

An evil transcends every level of being

Forever, from that moment a life is altered 

Joy gives way to fear and sorrow

Pain darkens the light that showed the way

Fear takes over the inner soul forever

And forever the child loves no more 

Self righteous driven evil killed the child

The heart continues to beat but all purpose is gone

The flow of blood becomes a wasted energy

As the body supports nothing but empty 

Steps are taken to nowhere alone

Crying no longer matters in emptiness

Why cry when all feels hopeless and lost

Mommy is gone and you are now alone 

She shuffles past but you no longer see her

Food is given and eaten from habit

The child can’t feel being held

Mommy’s hugs are too tight, choking 

Love feels painful and unwanted

The child can do this…alone

No one is any longer needed

Because the child now knows too much 

Now it no longer matters

You think the child is alive?

The child is walking around knowing too much

So the child now un-knows too much 

Put this away my dear child

Or you will finally die as you thought you would

It is only the ending of what has begun

And now the child begins the walk 

Blinding the past rekindles the light

Thus begins the long walk of the dead child

Quietly, slowly putting feet forward

Using only the tools of torn innocence 

A wasted child stumbles forward

There is an outer sign of peace

And an inner lie, denial, secret

All who see the child miss seeing the soul 

The child has found a way to walk

A long and arduous path alone

You will teach me, but not reach me

You won’t know the motions are just motions 

Purposeless steps are now taken everyday

And the years go by in a daze

Then the great awakening comes in a flash

The pain of the child flows like blood from a new wound 

A shattered life finally becomes a life

From which you wish you were truly dead

Dieing before wasn’t really all that bad

The child now lives and doesn’t want to 

Same day, different steps, different rules

But you know the child really doesn’t care

And no one else seems to care either

You can’t do this thing today 

I saw you walking along

And suddenly you began to fall

Do you expect anyone to hear you

You were OK yesterday, I know you were 

Now full grown but still the child

So am I that child that knows too much

Or an adult that knows too little

It doesn’t really matter to me 

My soul is stuck on the end of some man’s dick

Problem – I’m not supposed to know dick

But now they are everywhere, even on me

I don’t want one, ugly and evil 

These are for pain and stealing innocence

Why would I need one of these

I’m a man but still I am the child

And I don’t know why I am here anymore 

I hear you say “I don’t believe you”

You say “no one forgets that much”

Wrong, the child that knows too much must forget

You can’t know too much, you’re just the child 

If I forget it now I must die, only option

So if anyone might want to think I’ve got it wrong

They can step in and wear me

Think this is fun, overplayed, exaggerated? 

Then just try it out and show me how 

Born 1943
Raped by catholic priest 1950
Molested by catholic priest 1957

Note: this story is from 2007. View other 2007 stories and 2007 voting results. View current stories.