2007 STORY #:49 I Know Too Much
I Know Too Much
Pity the child that knows too much
Glowing eyes of innocence project joy to the world
A smile, a giggle, a cry, a faltering step
Makes Mommy’s heart light and full of joy
The child has no rules, no pain to control
Life follows a path with no sign post
Freely feeling joy and sorrow
Inspired by whatever, falling from wherever
The child feels joy and sorrow on a moment’s whim
No shadows, no evil, no real pain – just joy
For a child is charged to live life in fantasy
Never measuring or fearing the unknown
Cries of the child are cries without pain
All can see this child in a common state
Lifting the hearts of the world before it
Perpetual joy never gives way to a hardened thought
How all look upon the child in bliss,
Feeling hearts lift for one who lives in joy
And feels no pain day after day
Until we one day see horrible fear in the child’s eyes
Now the child knows too much, with heavy heart
Stolen innocence in a moment of selfish lust
An evil transcends every level of being
Forever, from that moment a life is altered
Joy gives way to fear and sorrow
Pain darkens the light that showed the way
Fear takes over the inner soul forever
And forever the child loves no more
Self righteous driven evil killed the child
The heart continues to beat but all purpose is gone
The flow of blood becomes a wasted energy
As the body supports nothing but empty
Steps are taken to nowhere alone
Crying no longer matters in emptiness
Why cry when all feels hopeless and lost
Mommy is gone and you are now alone
She shuffles past but you no longer see her
Food is given and eaten from habit
The child can’t feel being held
Mommy’s hugs are too tight, choking
Love feels painful and unwanted
The child can do this…alone
No one is any longer needed
Because the child now knows too much
Now it no longer matters
You think the child is alive?
The child is walking around knowing too much
So the child now un-knows too much
Put this away my dear child
Or you will finally die as you thought you would
It is only the ending of what has begun
And now the child begins the walk
Blinding the past rekindles the light
Thus begins the long walk of the dead child
Quietly, slowly putting feet forward
Using only the tools of torn innocence
A wasted child stumbles forward
There is an outer sign of peace
And an inner lie, denial, secret
All who see the child miss seeing the soul
The child has found a way to walk
A long and arduous path alone
You will teach me, but not reach me
You won’t know the motions are just motions
Purposeless steps are now taken everyday
And the years go by in a daze
Then the great awakening comes in a flash
The pain of the child flows like blood from a new wound
A shattered life finally becomes a life
From which you wish you were truly dead
Dieing before wasn’t really all that bad
The child now lives and doesn’t want to
Same day, different steps, different rules
But you know the child really doesn’t care
And no one else seems to care either
You can’t do this thing today
I saw you walking along
And suddenly you began to fall
Do you expect anyone to hear you
You were OK yesterday, I know you were
Now full grown but still the child
So am I that child that knows too much
Or an adult that knows too little
It doesn’t really matter to me
My soul is stuck on the end of some man’s dick
Problem – I’m not supposed to know dick
But now they are everywhere, even on me
I don’t want one, ugly and evil
These are for pain and stealing innocence
Why would I need one of these
I’m a man but still I am the child
And I don’t know why I am here anymore
I hear you say “I don’t believe you”
You say “no one forgets that much”
Wrong, the child that knows too much must forget
You can’t know too much, you’re just the child
If I forget it now I must die, only option
So if anyone might want to think I’ve got it wrong
They can step in and wear me
Think this is fun, overplayed, exaggerated?
Then just try it out and show me how
D.S.
Born 1943
Raped by catholic priest 1950
Molested by catholic priest 1957
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