2007 STORY #20: MY VERY DEAR UNCLE FRED
As one of Roman Catholic priest, Father X’s victims (survivor), my life, since the age of twelve, has been tumultuous to say the least.
Myself among 46 other women had him convicted in 2006. A huge step forward for us all.
But, as we all know, the secrets we carried for all those years, when unleashed, can create bigger balls of wax for some of us.
After disclosing and opening the proverbial can of worms, my personal life took an a downhill spiral which led to the break-up of my relationship with my husband.
At that time, I was so fortunate to have a very special man in my life who has been supportive unconditionally. My very dear uncle Fred, offered me a new home, a little house that had just become vacant, on his seventeen acre property in the country.
After spending most of the summer refurbishing the little place, I moved in and thought I had found my little bit of heaven.
But once the dust settled from the whirlwind of getting the house finished, I was, still, not at peace or content.
It became a ritual that my uncle, would wonder over after dinner and we would have tea together out on the patio. Many a great conversations were shared there. We would often talk about things we wish we could change about our past... as though confessing to one another.
It was during one of these times that I realized why I was feeling so blue and ill-at-ease.
Because of the problems my disclosing about Sylvestre had caused...
I had just lost my life as I'd known it for many years,... my husband,... the home that I had grown to love,... my maintenance free garden that I toiled to near perfection... and my son, whom I am very close to, had just moved away to another city.
Compounded by the impending civil suit against the Church, I was in mourning for all that I had lost and in fear of what I have yet to face.
I revealed the inner turmoil I was trying to deal with to my uncle during one of our teatimes. This is when I realized what a true gift I have been given.
I wrote the following a few months ago, to send to my dearest friends as I knew they would be happy for me. I can't express the relief that came over me during this conversation with my uncle...
I will forever be indebted to him since what I have learned from him far outweighs anything I could ever learn from the Church that I'm ashamed of.
I had nearly given up on ever having someone in my life who could accept me as I am.
Now I'm glad I hung in there.
Thought I would share this with you. It's too good to keep to myself.
My dear friends~~~
I have some good news!
For the first time in years, I fell asleep last night without medication....and with very little 'thinking turmoil' before drifting off.
believe I slept so well because... earlier my Uncle Fred had been visitng as he usually does every evening.
While we sat outside having tea after dinner, we began to talk about the trouble I've been having adjusting to my new life here in the country.
I proceeded to tell him how difficult it is when most people don't understand, the uproar in our lives that this 'case' has caused.
This gentle elder explained to me..."my dear girl" he began, "you've been unhappy and troubled most of your life. Just because you've found the root of your life's problems, it doesn't mean it's gonna get fixed today or tomorrow. You've been given a life sentence... now, you just have to learn how to live with it. Once you can learn to forgive, first, yourself and then others, it'll all come to you, you watch. And, my dear girl", he continued, "one of these days, and I predict by this time next year, you'll be truly happy."
I believe him for some reason! For the first time in a long while, I TRUST.
I can't explain to you how relieved I was... that this loving man of nearing 78 years 'GETS IT' !!!. I was so amazed that he truly 'gets it'.
He hit the nail right on the head.
I have a true and compassionate friend here. I am so grateful for him and I thank God everyday that He led me to my Uncle Fred.
People come into your life when they do, for a reason, and I believe God placed us together to help each other heal.
My uncle had a rough 10 years taking care of my aunt who died of Alzheimer's 3 years ago. We often talk about his arduous times dealing with that illness.
He stuck by her side though, and never gave up on her. That's true love and commitment!
I have a great deal of admiration and love for this man.
He accepts me as I am, with love, understanding and so much patience.
Once again, this strong man, is dealing with a 'broken woman', Me.
He often tells me, "there's a reason why I didn't die when I had my heart attack"....and leaves it at that.!
I can accept that he loves me unconditionally and I welcome it as easily as I do the love of my grandsons.
Being abandoned because you're 'damaged goods' is heart-wrenching, yet I can understand why some people, must sometimes walk away.
Not everyone has the strength, acceptance, patience, wisdom, compassion and love that my very dear Uncle Fred has.
And now, I am able to accept and understand that.
It has been said that one is very fortunate to have ONE true friend throughout a lifetime...
I have been given the gift of my lifetime in my uncle...once in a lifetime should happen once in every life!
Don't wait for the storm to pass...learn to dance in the rain.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths that we take but by the moments that take our breath away!
May your dreams stay BIG and your worries small.