Canada – Mennonite church leader Urie A. Bender dies, SNAP responds
For immediate release, May 24, 2018
Statement by Barbra Graber, Volunteer SNAP Mennonite Leader, [email protected], 540-214-8874
Urie A. Bender, credibly accused clergy sexual abuser of Mennonite girls and women over several decades, died on Friday. We grieve for his family and loved ones. But we also grieve for his many victims, especially those who have never felt it was safe to come forward.
It will be tempting to publicly profess Urie Bender’s glowing accomplishments while ignoring his deeply harmful actions against vulnerable members of the church body. We as adults face a simple choice.
We can either make it easier for child and young adult sex abuse victims to come forward, or we can make it harder for them to come forward. Publicly proclaiming the virtues of offending church leaders at the time of their death makes coming forward harder and does not make the church safer.
Finally, we must understand and accept the fact that most sexual predators are charming, charismatic, warm, outgoing and loveable. If they weren’t, no child would want to be near them and no parent would trust their child to be near them. The notion that child molesters present themselves as creeps, monsters, and social misfits is just wrong. Worse, it’s dangerous.
We urge Pastor Scott Brubaker-Zehr, who is conducting the funeral service at Steinmann Mennonite Church in Baden, Ontario, as well as the church press, to exercise restraint and sensitivity, remembering there are those listening whose knowledge of the damage to their lives that Urie Bender caused them, greatly overshadows the praiseworthy things he did for his church and community.
(SNAP, the Survivors Network, is the world's oldest and largest support group for victims of sexual abuse in institutional settings. SNAP was founded in 1988 and has more than 25,000 supporters. Our website is SNAPnetwork.org )
Contact - Tim Lennon (415-312-5820, [email protected]), Becky Ianni (703-801-6044, [email protected])
Winter Appeal 2023
To our friends,
2023 has been a long year with many ups and downs for us all. As we close out the year, we at SNAP hope that you are feeling like you are on your way to being healthy, fulfilled, and happy. This past year has brought both successes and challenges. Thanks to the support you have shown in the past, we’ve been able to celebrate the good days and weather the stormy ones. Now, we are once again asking for your support as we work to support survivors new and old as we ‘Move SNAP Forward.’
At SNAP we are proud to have hosted a very well-attended conference in August 2023. This event allowed us to gather friends, survivors, advocates, and allies for a weekend of camaraderie and connection. We were so happy to be able to welcome many first-time attendees to gather in person and are already looking forward to the next conference.
To strengthen our movement for justice, healing, and prevention, SNAP will be expanding our peer support and providing more volunteer opportunities in the coming year. Through this great work, we are ensuring survivor voices are represented as we work for significant change that will benefit children and survivors.
Right now, survivors worldwide are getting the help they need from SNAP, and more and more reach out to us daily, but we need your help to keep those programs going and get our volunteers the training they need to thrive.
Your tax-deductible gift to SNAP can help offset the cost of our important mission. If you are not in a position to contribute, you can still support us by sharing this letter with those who can. As we continue to fight for survivors across the globe, your donation or sharing the great work SNAP does will help us continue our work to protect the vulnerable, heal the wounded, and prevent abuse.
Your donation ensures SNAP will be there for those who need us more than ever!
Warmly,
Michael W. McDonnell, C.P.S.
Interim Executive Director